Lessons Learned, Douchebags Past.

We're still working on revelation #4, aren't we? Well, like I said... even though we only dated for a couple of months (and I'm sure the feeling isn't mutual), I took so much out of my relationship with G.I. Joe. If you recall, revelation #4 states that "It's okay if people were only meant to be in your life for a brief period of time and a very specific reason." Now, I'm a firm believer that he was put into my life just to give me a poke and make me realize that I needed to make some changes, take some action, and start doing things for myself instead of for everyone else. He reminded me of who I really am. Because of the things he re-awakened within me; I started going to the gym again, I asked for more bartending hours, I stopped stressing out so much about stupid things, I stopped twiddling my thumbs and went back to being proactive about getting back in school, and I started making a plan for getting myself to Oregon. The simple fact that I had all this in motion again made me so happy. And then our relationship ended, relatively suddenly, but the weird thing was that I wasn't really that upset. Even though this boy had told me he loved me, that he wanted to marry me, that we could make a relationship last for a whole year while he was deployed, and even though I wanted to believe him, I think that deep down inside there was a part of me that knew none of that would ever happen, that he was just in my life to teach me something. And while in retrospect, he mostly turned out to be a douche, I don't have any regrets about the situation because I'm so much happier with myself now than I was three months ago. That's the short version anyway. 

In a round-about way, this also leads us to revelation #1. "Just because you say you're okay alone, doesn't mean you really are. But one day you'll wake up and realize it's the best thing ever." Seriously, being on my own right now is just what I really need. I have time to focus and do things for myself and get my life together again. It's cliche that everyone says you can't be truly happy with someone else until you're happy with yourself, but it's very true. And while I've always been pretty happy with myself, I never really wanted to be alone...until now. So I think that when I do eventually meet someone I might be interested in, I'll be better prepared for whatever might come out of it and unafraid of being let down again. 

So Much I Don't Even Know Where to Start

It's been a pretty typical Monday, I think, though I did have the day off so that was really nice. It was a day of attempting to get some things done. I say attempting because I don't think I even got half the stuff marked off my to-do list. Oh well... some is better than none, right?

Best and myself at the airport
upon our most recent reuniting
after three years of not seeing
each other.

It started off as a pretty rough morning - I had some insane dreams last night! And when I say insane, I mean bat-shit crazy, though they won't sound that bad when I describe them...but they were! First I dream that there are some crazy evil demons coming to get me and I wake up trying not to fall back into that shit hole but then I start dreaming that I'm still awake and that the demons are in my room so then I don't know if I'm awake or asleep and it's just confusing and terrifying. Urgh. So then I finally fall back to sleep and I start dreaming that G.I. Joe knocks up this new girl he's doing whatever with, so he has her move into his parents with him and then comes to my house and is all like "I don't want this, I still love you" blah blah. And I'm all like "ha, screw you, too late now" and it was just an irritating dream. And then I'm standing in the middle of D.C. arguing with someone about taking the red line into Chinatown because I didn't want to drive around looking for parking. Weird. I have no idea what prompted any of these things. If anyone reading this knows anything about dream interpretation, please tell me wtf is going on here. I also have to recount my story about why I'm beginning to wonder if my house is haunted, which I was reminded of earlier this afternoon while I was talking to my best friend. (Enter shout out to my Best, who will probably read this in the near future - Hi Best!) The story goes something like this: I was home completely alone. My roommate and the dogs were all gone for the weekend and I was having my friends Andrea and Dave over for dinner. I just washed up some dishes and had gone into my bedroom to change before they arrived and I heard this weird crash so I go back into the kitchen to check it out and I see one of the wine glasses rolling around in the middle of the floor. Let me just say that this wine glass was in the dish rack in the middle of the counter. It's not like it was perched precariously on the edge of the counter or anything ballsy like that. It was in the rack in the middle of the counter. I have no explanation except that some invisible person shimmied up my balcony, came in the back door, threw it on the ground, and then ran away. The weird thing is that this glass didn't even break, and we all know that they're the easiest things in the world to smash. Unexplained mystery, I know.

Also, for some strange reason, I felt like the worst human being in the world because I smashed a spider with my windshield wipers today. It was a complete accident. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I always take the little guys outside and set them free. I thought this one was big enough to just be pushed off my windshield and be sent on his way, but no. I smashed his little body and smeared it all over my window. And I was sad and I felt like a jerk.

I don't think I'm ready to go to sleep yet, so... I'll probably post something else before I go to bed. I could just keep writing this post, but then we have another ridiculously long thing on our hands again and I don't want to do that to you.

Toodles!
Miss Georgia

Staging Yourself an Intervention

Yeah, I need to stop making bad life choices. I need to get my shit together and gain a little more self control.   I know these things take time and it's a due process, blah blah... but seriously, this weekend was too much. It wasn't a bad weekend at all, don't get me wrong... I had fun, but recently fun has been accompanied by shame and a hangover. I'm definitely at that awkward stage in life where I'm caught in between my slightly younger single friends that party all weekend, every weekend and my slightly older friends who are engaged or married and have people over for dinner on the weekends. And I'm here confused because I don't think I can keep partying the way I do, but I can't hang out by my single self all the time and be boring. This weekend was definitely a brilliant example of revelation #5 though... I have found some truly fantastic friends, whether they're younger or older, single or married.

Anyway, I'm going to paint a picture for you...
     It's a beautiful October night, a little before midnight and it's still warm outside (about 72 outside to be precise). A girl sits on a balcony reflecting on her weekend as a perfect half-moon hangs overhead an the smell of rain teases her nose, though the only moisture in the air is a very thin fog.
....Alright enough of that. It's not that fancy. My balcony has trash bags stashed on it because neither my roommate nor myself have had time to take them over to the dumpster. But the moon (though probably not exactly half) is quite perfect and orange and large and I keep looking at it like it's going to whisper some words of wisdom to me as I'm writing. In short, it's a delightful evening and probably the only fitting end to a day that didn't really go as planned, but no complaints. We'll start at the beginning of the weekend though.

Friday was a good day filled with work, work, work, and laundry. But by the time the evening rolled around, it was time to meet the girls for sushi...yum. So we went out, ate dinner, and then I made bad life choices and drank a little too much, slipped on a wet floor, and a few other things. But the highlight of my evening was gaining Duck-Duck. Duck-Duck came into my life as part of a seemingly random chain of events but the moment I saw him I just had to take him as a sign of where my future will be going. Now as a young single woman, I know that you probably aren't going to have a meaningful relationship with a guy you meet in bar (I should have reminded myself of that when G.I. Joe came along, huh?), but Duck-Duck I know is different. I don't much about him, just that some guy pulled him out of the claw machine thingy along with a multitude of other small stuffed animals and there he was before me. And I knew it was fate. Now, most of this is probably a little confusing to those of you who aren't aware of the internal battle I've been trying to dissolve recently so let me explain....

It all started about two and half years ago. I was a little bit depressed and I wasn't really sure what I was doing with my life. Mr. President and I had just broken up for the first time and I was completely devastated. I was having a lot of trouble sleeping and when I could sleep, I would have nightmares constantly... it sucked. And let me just say here that at the time, I wasn't a particularly "spiritual" person, and I've never exactly been a religious person, but I was completely lost. A young girl far away from home, with no clue what to do next. This one particular night I decided that I was fed up with the nightmares and the lack of sleep and I had no idea what to do to make it stop so I did the only thing I could think of - I prayed. Hard. I prayed for peace of mind and a good sleep and a direction. And call me crazy but I got just that. As soon as I had put it out there, this warm sensation filled my heart, my mind was quiet, and there was this little voice inside of me that told me I would be okay. I drifted off into a dreamless sleep. only to find myself awakened by who-knows-what a few hours later. It was still the middle of the night but it just hit me - the direction I asked for. I don't know where it came from, but I had a conversation with that voice inside my head:

Voice: We're going to move to Oregon.
Me: What?
Voice: Yeah, Oregon.
Me: What the hell? I've never been to Oregon, I don't even know anyone there!
Voice: So? Didn't stop you from moving to Kansas... You want a fresh start, don't you?
Me: Well, yeah...
Voice: So we're moving to Oregon.
Me: Well...okay then, sounds like a plan.

Like I said, call me crazy but ever since then, I've been determined that I will be living in Oregon. For some reason, I went ahead and moved up to Manhattan anyway, there was still a part of me that really wanted to finish school at K-State but recently I've decided that that's not meant to be. One of the good things I took out of my relationship with G.I. Joe was the fact that he's from Oregon and would talk about it all the time, which I guess rekindled my lust to just get out there. I feel like the past couple of year I've just been waiting around for things to work themselves out and that whatever happens will happen, which is very uncharacteristic of me. I've always had a plan, and a backup plan, and an emergency plan just in case but Kansas brought out the "wing-it" way of life in me and I'm apparently not very good at it. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any regrets, but it's time to move on and G.I. Joe reminded me that if you really want something you have to work for it and that's when I started looking at schools in Oregon. I narrowed it down Portland State, University of Oregon, and Oregon State. Then I started making a pro/con list which just made me more confused because it just showed me that UO is my best bet academically, but I wanted to live in Portland and I couldn't have it both ways. I hope it's starting to make sense why meeting Duck-Duck is such a big deal. If not, well... Oregon's mascot is a duck and their colors are green and yellow. Duck-Duck happens to be a yellow duck wearing a green shirt, right? So I picked him up and said, okay world... I get it. I'm going to UO. You win. I let this stuffed animal I somehow acquired in a bar be the deciding factor in one of the most important decisions of my young life (lol).

The rest of the weekend was full of my friend's recounts of my dumbass in action and lots more work. And let me tell you, when you're in a bar and grille that has no liquor license, business is slooooooow. I can't wait to be back in action next week. The bright side of being slow though, is that I had plenty of time to watch the game (way to go Wildcats!) and I had plenty of time to connect with my tables. Table of obnoxious and slightly douchey guys who tried pretending they weren't in the army - I had a lot of fun with you and I think you're all pretty alright, but try harder, and don't refer to yourself as a civilian, that just gives it away right there (besides, everyone knows I dig a military man). But seriously, come back next weekend when I'm bartending. Also, to my new friend Cory (I hope that's how you spell your name, but since we only exchanged verbally I'm not sure), if you are reading this like you said you would, let's be friends. You come back next weekend too! We'll party, but I shall do so in a more responsible manner as I have stop making bad life choices...ha.

And on that note, this post has gone on for way too long! I'll leave you with a little something that's keeping me going right now... I can't get enough of this song, even though it's a little bittersweet for me to listen to.
Dead Sea - The Lumineers


"Domestic life had never suited you like a suitcase."

It didn't suit me either.
Hearts! Miss Georgia

Getting Back Into the Swing of Things

See! I told you I was bad at this blog thing... it's been forever since I posted! Well I did post a video the a couple of days ago, like I said I would. You can check it out on my vlog page here: http://everywhere-vlog.blogspot.com/ (if you like it, don't forget to subscribe to my channel on YouTube; there'll be more coming soon!).

Things have been pretty crazy lately, really. What with trying to back into school to get this business associates out of the way while I'm working on moving to Oregon and figuring out which school I want to go to out there. Not to mention working non-stop for two weeks straight, and the fact that we're in middle of changing ownership at the restaurant so I'm currently a bartender at a bar & grille which happens to be sans liquor license. Doesn't work too well, right? But it's just temporary and everything should settle down and go back to normal soon, except for the part where I finally get more bartending shifts and get to be the admin of our company Facebook and Twitter page. Yeah, buddy.

I'm also beginning to train for the Warrior Dash (http://www.warriordash.com/), in which I won't be participating until next year, but I want to make sure I'm ready for it! I'll be doing to Colorado event with my lovely friend, Elle, and whoever else decides they're man enough to do it with us. Let me know if you're going to be there too and we can become friends! The more the merrier, right?!

So anyway... Where did I leave you hanging? Oh yeah. G.I. Joe. So we exchanged friend requests on Facebook (and I later sang quite frequently Hey, I just met you and this is crazy but here's my Facebook - friend me maybe. I know, I'm great) and he disappeared off into the crowd with his friends while I went back home with mine. We started messaging the very next day, a little to my surprise, and while I wasn't exactly interested it was nice to have someone to talk to so I entertained the possibility. Life is more fun when you have options and take risks, right? After a few days, I noticed I would check my phone constantly when I was away from my computer, always eager for his next response. I was actually giddy, for the first time in forever. Finally, by Wednesday evening, he'd planted the seed. A date - to take me flying. Like that wasn't a crazy enough first date, he timed it so we would fly as the sun was setting. How am I ever supposed to top that in my life?! (Boys - you've got your work cut out for you now.) By Friday evening, we'd exchanged phone numbers and by Saturday, we met up at the bars, ditched our friends to chat the night away over a few beers, and then he walked me all the way home (completely out of his way), kissed me goodnight (fireworks), and left me ecstatically awaiting our avian date the next day. It really was a first date straight out of a movie, completely perfect in every way. But like I implied with the title of my previous blog - if something is too good to be true, it probably is. Though we only dated for two months, it was the most eye-opening two months of my young adult life. But more on that later.

So, Halloween is right around the corner. I just got the greatest Halloween costume I've ever had ever ever and I'm so excited about it. It's a monster. A magical monster and I want to wear this costume for the next three weeks straight - not even joking. For those of you who don't know, Halloween is tied with Christmas for my favorite holiday. I LOVE Halloween. My other friend, Jenna, bought a similar costume so we will be a bit matchy, which is cool because we'll be partying together. I'll definitely make sure to show you all some pictures because it's simply too good to be missed. What are you going to be for Halloween?! Send me pictures of your costumes too!

Alas, I should now venture off to bed. I don't want to screw my sleep schedule up too much. I'm going to post a new video soon too, so make sure to check out that out.

Goodnight, friends!
Miss Georgia

Hump Day Hasn't Been So Hump-tastic

     Well guys, I did tell you I would introduce you to Pooh Bear pretty soon. There he is, the perfect size for cuddling and he never talks back!

     While I was driving home from the gym earlier this evening, I had an idea that every once in a while, I would post a video instead of text. Of course I wanted to do it right away but it was so dark in my car that my phone didn't pick up much, unless we were at a stop light. I will post a video story (or something) eventually, I promise. My computer is making a really weird noise right now.... Oh dear.

     Anyway, I don't know if you guys are familiar with Mat Kearney but he has this song called "Count On Me". I wasn't familiar with Mat Kearney or that song until about two months ago when it heard it for the first and only time. G.I. Joe came to pick me up and he was playing that album, skipped to that song and said "I dedicate this song to you." Sweet, right? Like I said, I never heard it again... until today. I cried. We broke up about three weeks ago, and let me tell you I didn't cry that much - not because I wasn't sad or anything - I was just learning to accept everything with grace so I cried for a couple minutes in my car after we went our separate way after ways and that was it. Until today. I heard that song, and it just clicked. He dedicated that song to me. I was supposed to be able to count on him and I couldn't. Mind explosion. And that's when the tears came. Of course I was fine again after five minutes, but I decided I needed to go to the store and get some Chinese food and ice cream for dinner and as I'm heading over to the West side of town, who do I pass?! My stomach sank - there aren't many cars like that in this town with drivers who think they're always racing. So maybe I ate twice as much as ice cream, and had to work twice as hard at the gym but we all have those days, right? The weird thing is that I almost took the long way to the store to avoid traffic and decided that it was late enough traffic wouldn't be so bad... don't you hate it when that happens?! So there you have the story of my off day.

     On the bright side, I haven't been thoroughly excited to listen to a new album probably since I was 17 and emo. But Mumford has instilled in me that excitement once more, so I tip my hat to them.

Toodles, friends
Miss Georgia