Lessons Learned, Douchebags Past.

We're still working on revelation #4, aren't we? Well, like I said... even though we only dated for a couple of months (and I'm sure the feeling isn't mutual), I took so much out of my relationship with G.I. Joe. If you recall, revelation #4 states that "It's okay if people were only meant to be in your life for a brief period of time and a very specific reason." Now, I'm a firm believer that he was put into my life just to give me a poke and make me realize that I needed to make some changes, take some action, and start doing things for myself instead of for everyone else. He reminded me of who I really am. Because of the things he re-awakened within me; I started going to the gym again, I asked for more bartending hours, I stopped stressing out so much about stupid things, I stopped twiddling my thumbs and went back to being proactive about getting back in school, and I started making a plan for getting myself to Oregon. The simple fact that I had all this in motion again made me so happy. And then our relationship ended, relatively suddenly, but the weird thing was that I wasn't really that upset. Even though this boy had told me he loved me, that he wanted to marry me, that we could make a relationship last for a whole year while he was deployed, and even though I wanted to believe him, I think that deep down inside there was a part of me that knew none of that would ever happen, that he was just in my life to teach me something. And while in retrospect, he mostly turned out to be a douche, I don't have any regrets about the situation because I'm so much happier with myself now than I was three months ago. That's the short version anyway. 

In a round-about way, this also leads us to revelation #1. "Just because you say you're okay alone, doesn't mean you really are. But one day you'll wake up and realize it's the best thing ever." Seriously, being on my own right now is just what I really need. I have time to focus and do things for myself and get my life together again. It's cliche that everyone says you can't be truly happy with someone else until you're happy with yourself, but it's very true. And while I've always been pretty happy with myself, I never really wanted to be alone...until now. So I think that when I do eventually meet someone I might be interested in, I'll be better prepared for whatever might come out of it and unafraid of being let down again.